Sexualizing Cryptocurrency Terms (18+)

This article contains subjects, terminology, and imagery that some readers may find offensive or inappropriate. Please continue scrolling at your own risk.

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Cryptocurrency can sometimes be a little too serious. It's great that projects like BANANO can find a little fun in all this complex technology. But what about something sexual? For now, let's have a look at a few common crypto-related terms and how easily they can be incredibly sexual. Artwork by the OG SoggyApplePie.

Airdrop

This is where someone takes a shit on someone else. Its name is derived from the anticipation one experiences during the time while the turd is still dropping. It is generally applied to the chest area in some respect. Popularized by Not Another Teen Movie.

Altcoin

This refers to somebody who is only willing to pay for sexual transactions through uncommon means. In this case, "coin" refers to how they are willing to pay, and "alt" means that they would like to pay for the sexual encounter in a way that is not what most would expect.

Bearish

This refers to someone (stereotypically a somewhat older gentleman, possibly middle-aged) who is bearish in both appearance and behaviour. Some example may be: they have an excessive amount of body hair, they move slowly, they do a lot of unnecessary grunting, and their physical body tires easily.

Blockchain

A blockchain is a description of a typical BDSM sexual act that involves someone being chained up (commonly to cinder or steel blocks) during a type of orgy called a "block-chain party." These parties attract a crowd, and those who are chained up serve as a form of entertainment or service to the others. B.Y.O.B.G. (Bring Your Own Ball Gag)

Bullish

The opposite of bearish, this bullish term usually refers to someone who has high stamina, is aggressive in the sack, and is most often the more dominant player in a power exchange. They can also be characterized by heavy breathing, and getting excited by seeing the colour red. Can also refer to people who like to play with nose-rings during intimacy.

Buy The Dip

This term is suggesting that in order to get the best financial opportunity when seeking a sex worker, a person should "buy the dip" and offer to purchase more services as immediately as possible after another transaction has just taken place. Therefore hopefully purchasing at a cheaper price because the sex worker just finished making money with a client and might be more willing to accept a cheaper price for a similar service.

ERC-20

This term originated when a young man of exactly 20 years old, named Eric (or ERC), was said to have eaten several Russian Banana Potatoes, which seemed to have forever preserved his ripe and youthful 20 year old physical appearance. Eric was known to hunt down cougars from around the globe because of his ever-lasting apparent youth; and as a homage to Eric and his talents, the term ERC-20 refers to anyone who is a natural cougar hunter and never appears to be older than exactly 20 years old.

Faucet

This term can refer to a woman who squirts heavily when she reaches orgasm but it can also refer to a man who ejaculates an abnormal amount of semen upon orgasm.

Golden Cross

This refers to when a number of different partners engage in urinating on someone/something and their respective urinary streams cross one another. This act is quite common at block-chain parties due to the number of people typically found at these events.

ICO/IEO (Initial Coin Offering/Initial Exchange Offering)

An "initial coin/exchange offering" simply refers to what a person is willing to pay for a sexual encounter. This can apply to both official and unofficial sexual exchanges; official meaning money in exchange for sex, and unofficial meaning anything other than money, like one party buying the other a round of drinks, supplying the Netflix for the night, or even covering pizza delivering services.

KYC

"Kiss your customer" is another term commonly used in the sex work industry. It generally refers to whether or not a sex worker allows kissing with their clientele. Generally considered taboo, it can be practiced if it has been specifically requested (but it usually comes with a higher price).

Liquidity

This term can be interchangeable with "faucet".

Moon

This refers to someone who likes to show their ass to other people. Generally they have a very pale bum due to the phrase "where the sun don't shine," which might seem contradictory to how much they enjoy showing their bum in public. Most often, they prefer to show their bums to an unsuspecting audience.

Proof of Stake

This term refers to the classic Dick Pic. It is commonly used in this context before two or more individuals’ first time hooking up, while the male tries to entice his potential mate(s). He offers his proof of stake, or, proof of steak, to see if his meat will be impressive enough to bait them in.

Proof of Work

This applies to people who try really hard to gratify or set the mood with their sexual partner, and have evidence of such measures. Examples of Proof of Work include brushing teeth, forwarding all calls, having an auto-generated email response saying that a person is not available for x amount of time, and making sure to have an all around open schedule to be ready for when intercourse is expected or possible to be initiated.

Pump and Dump

This term generally refers to men/boys who "pump" away at/in their partner until climax and then they "dump" them with no emotional connection or sense of remorse. Can also refer to someone who has sex and then takes a shit shortly after as a sort of cleansing ritual- a personal favourite of the author.

Whale

This refers to an individual who enjoys being smothered by people who are obese. The irony of this term is that the smotheree is called the "whale", despite the smotherer usually being excessively overweight. The smotheree, like a whale, must routinely “come up for air” as a means to continue breathing throughout the experience.

I hope you've enjoyed this article about sexualizing cryptocurrency terms. If the response is good, I might make another because there are so many unique terms in crypto.

#Memes #nsfw #18plus #crypto